Parents often struggle with setting boundaries with their children. Many parents feel setting boundaries is mean and fear their children won't like them if they set boundaries. Some parents feel boundaries make it impossible for their children to be themselves. All of these reasons miss the point of boundaries. Here are five key reasons to set boundaries with your children.
1. Boundaries make your children feel safe. Your children’s world feels very unsafe if they have no idea what and where the limits of their behaviors are. Your kids will push and push until they find the snap-back point. This point makes them feel safe. Setting boundaries for your children makes them feel safe.
2. Boundaries make your children feel loved. When you set boundaries for your children and make their world feel safe, they feel loved.
3. Boundaries make your children feel like you care. If you set boundaries with your children it tells them that you care enough to do so and that they matter enough for you to care.
4. Your children expect them and they make your children feel settled. Everyone expects you to have boundaries. At a subconscious level, everyone is unsettled by the lack of boundaries and everyone’s interactions are easier and smoother when you have them. When you don’t have boundaries with your children they feel unsettled.
5. Boundaries give your children an out with their friends. It is very difficult for your children to say no to their friends. If you have already set out the limits for their behaviors, they can blame you when they need to say no to their friends but don’t really know how to do so otherwise. Your kids can simply say, “My parents won’t let me” to their friends. This makes it easy for your children to say no without having to say no.
© 2015 Are You Willing to Be Seen? Coaching